Showing posts with label kawan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kawan. Show all posts

Sunday, 14 September 2014

When.You.In.Trouble......

Siapa sahaja yang berada di sisi kamu ketika kamu dalam kesusahan? Welcome to the blog. Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah. Aku berjaya melanjutkan pelajaran degree di Uitm Shah Alam. Banyak benda yg nak disettlekan. Even sekarang pom aku masih ada banyak benda nak di settle kan. Apa yg nak aku kisahkan disini ialah, bagaimana aku didalam kesusahan dan yang mana aku sendirian tak berteman, sewaktu kesusahan tersebut.

Rasa nya semua pernah mengalami keadaan macam “ time bersenang lenang kawan bersama, time bersusah payah kawan ditinggalkan” ; dan yang sama maksud dengan nya. YA! Aku mengalami masalah tersebut.  Aku tak tahu salah siapa. Aku tak tahu mana silapnya. Alih- alih, bila aku dalam kesusahan, aku tak tahu nak meminta bantuan drpd siapa. Dengan org yg aku kenal – tapi rapat, atau org yg aku kenal – tapi tak rapat mana.

Aku kalau boleh, bila dalam kesusahan, org lain akan memikirkan apa yg sedang aku alami. Misalnya, mereka dah tahu aku ada masalah tersebut, tapi mereka seakan – akan pikir “ masalah aku dah selesai. Kalau masalah ko tak settle lagi, settle la sengsorang. Aku malas nk pikir” dan ketika itulah aku akan rasa down, dan berkecil hati.

Aku tak mintak banyak pom dalam hal persahabatan ni. Tapi kalau boleh, bila aku pernah tolong diorang waktu diorang dlm kesusahan, pernah pikir dan ingatkan masalah diorang, bersama –sama teman diorang selesaikan masalah tersebut, tak boleh ke diorang buat perkara yang sama macam apa yg aku lakukan? Ini tidak. Asyik pikirkan “Hal aku kena settle dulu bagi selesai. Hal dia biar dia je la buat sendiri”. SELFISH tau tak.

Aku pom jenis yang macam – segan nak minta bantuan orang. Sebab aku segan. Aku takut. Bila aku tarik someone untuk sama-sama teman aku settle down the problem, nanti diorang letih sebab aku, diorang buang masa sebab aku, diorang rasa moody sebab aku. Aku tak nak macam tu. Aku nak kalau boleh, nak tolong aku biar iklas. Biar ada rasa dlm hati tu “ aku sendiri yang willingness  nak tolong dia.”

Tapi baru – baru ni, aku dlm kesusahan. Mereka tahu aku ada masalah tersebut tetapi mereka tak cuba nak bantu aku pom. Sebab nya “ masalah aku dah selesai. Kalau masalah ko tak settle lagi, settle la sengsorang.” Ibaratnya. Lalu terkapai – kapai la aku keseorangan. Salah aku ke, sebab tak bagitahu diorang apa masalah aku? Salah aku ke, bila aku ada masalah tapi tak ajak mereka tanggung bersama masalah aku?

Masalah bila diajak ibarat membelanja-kawan-tengok-wayang, rasanya semua orang ada kawan setia bersama macam tu. Engat definisi MASALAH itu adalah keseronokan? Tidak. MASALAH itu adalah kesusahan. Siapa yang nak kan kesusahan tersebut sedangkan selama ini kita cuma inginkan keseronokan?

Mungkin ada salah nya di pihak aku. Tak cuba membuka pekung di dada, share the probs with friend. Tapi yang salahnya di sisi kawan, cuba la fahami apa yang kawan sebelah alami. Ingat balik apa kebaikan yg mereka lakukan dan cuba lakukan hal yang sama. Jangan pula bila berseronok bersama, bila susah tinggalkan. Tak semua manusia bertalam dua muka meminta bantuan dan menyusahkan orang lain. Bagaimana dengan mereka yang ada rasa malu dan segan untuk menyusahkan org lain tetapi pada waktu yg sama ingin terasa ada insan di sebelah untuk menangung beban yg di alami?

KAWAN. Banyak ragam nya.

Kawan yang bersama ketika bergembira sahaja. Aku benci kawan yang macam tu. Bukan benci. Tapi lebih kepada “ Kenapa tak nak bantu aku ketika aku dalam kesusahan?”


Korang tahu kan apa perasaan yang ingin aku sampaikan? Macam tu la apa aku rasa sekarang ini. Dan malam nya aku menangis.





Sunday, 17 November 2013

Who I am

I’m telling you I am not Superwoman. Welcome to the blog. Assalamualaikum


M.A.R.A.H.
I’m a bad temper girl. Easily mad at people. But until now, I’m tried to manage my temper so it will not blow it out to people around me. Whenever I’m angry with anything, I’m bearing it on my mind “please don’t acting like a stupid clown. Act like a professional”. With the anger inside of me, I choose to keep silent. NO mood in talk, NO mood in texting, NO mood to laugh, NO mood in movies. Just don’t mind me. Let the fire turn off by the times. I admit I’m easily got angry with little things such as waiting for a-late-person (even it is just 5 minutes late), or someone just format my pendrive without me knowing it, but I’ve tried to not make it a bigger issue.  Sabar itu separuh daripada iman, right?? That quotes I was thinking when I’m in temper. Don’t worry; I’m not a harmful people.

Warning; when I’m in silent mood, please don’t disturb me with anything that annoying me much. The fire might be bigger than the earlier. What is the annoying thing? The words that can make me pissed off. If it was a joke, make sure the joke is making a sense and not a sarcasm-to-be.

J.E.A.L.O.U.S.
I’m bad at this thing. And I totally hate this feeling. Wishing for “won’t be silly jelly” but the more I denied it, the more it shows.  I’m totally got easily jealousy when I’m got nothing when they have it. The more suck is, if I realised that when I’m nothing to them, their faces show “huh, look at yourself, LOSER!” . Ok. It makes me more to cursing. That I’m looking ‘loser’ to you, huh???!!!   Sometimes I cried louder if there’s something that I cannot hold with but the others can.  Sometimes I get angry if there’s something that I want but the others got it. Sometimes I get piss off if there’s something that I’m failed but the others success. All that things happened because of jealous. It’s totally broken my heart.

E.G.O.
Everyone have their own ego.  The difference is just, how their managed to handle the ego with the situation, the times, the people, the emotion. Me, have a high ego (I know because this is me). Sincerely, I’m admitting that I’m an egoist person. Just a bad or good, I’m not realized it at all. Depend on how you judge me and my egoist. I’m not easily giving people a chance to look down at me. But somehow depend on the situation. If there people that close to me or barely have I known (relative, classmate, or others--call-as-mate), I’m will forgive them on face to face. But still hold the grudge inside of me. I’m never forgive them. Beside of forgiveness, the way I’m act whenever they hurt my ego which is, I’m never talk to them, never looking their face, and never smile to them. My heart was hurt enough to do the happiest thing to them. It is still called as ego or pendendam..???

---- I will not showing the good of me because all of you might saying that I’m “RIAK”.--------

Nobody is perfect. Even the superman/woman. What they do is helping others but for themselves?? hopeless. Nobody there for them. Yet, I'm not a Superwoman, that stronger outside but feeling hopeless inside.Let me show you how the dark side of me. So that I can see how you all, the people can accept me the way I am. If you accept me the way I am, I will do the same things to you. If you cannot accept me, just leave. But never regret it. All above might change your first impression to me as a bad girl.  I'm a person who got the feel of anger, jealous and ego; same as you are. And me, still trying to be the best of friends ever. 


Who knows, all above I've just saying but not mean it. Me is who am I, and You have to accept it!


Wednesday, 6 November 2013

K.A.W.A.N

Hello hello. Welcome to the blog. Assalamualaikum

Nak dijadikan cerita, baru semalam aku bukak facebook aq tu. Erm..since when eh aku dah x bukak FB tu? Agak lama jugak la. Cume semalam was the shock news aq baru dapat. Which is….

MY EX-SCHOOLMATE DAH ADA ANAK!!!

Nikah nye bila aq pom tatau weh. Usha-usha album photo dye pom, tak nampak pulak satu gambar nikah dye pom. Alih-alih post kat FB and say  ‘My *****’ (***** is her son’s name).  tgok dari komen-komen dye pom dah agak pasti she’s become a mother already. Dulu aq nmpak jugak dye post gambar pegang baby. But time tu engt tu anak sedara dye ker. Sebab dye ade abang-abang atas dye.

Tanye kawan aq yg lain, dah tau ke yg SHE dah ade anak. Memasing jawab “YA!” Time tu aq wat muka. Pe nih….semua orang dah tahu tapi aq sorang tak tahu ni pemende ni pemende niiii… *ayat tak puas atie*

Maybe she wasn’t remembered me at all. Ye la, almost 5 years tak contact tak menyapa, the end of SPM baru nk add FB dye.  Mahu nye dye tak engt kat aq. Tapi aq engat je kat dia :’(

She’s my friend since darjah 5. Funny girl, baik atie, chubby chubby pipi dye gitu, and the most manjeww girl i knew. Tu masa jamang skola rendah  punye crite la. Haha Di kala aq tengah sesedih, dia lah yg menceriakan hari aq. Dengan lawak bodoh nye, ayat sempoi dye, how adorable *bagi aq la*. Sayang dye sangat-sangat.


Paling terharu sekali, bila aq gaduh dengan geng ni and dah tak kawan dah, tapi senyap-senyap dye datang dekat aq and say

 Walau apa pom diorang kata macam-macam kat kau, tapi aq still nak kawan dengan kau. Aq tau, kau bukan lah macam yang diorang cakapkan”  erm....memang terharu :’)

Even kitorang kawan senyap-senyap dibelakang GENG tu, i’m appreciate much much the friendship tu. Aq tak kesah pom tak de kawan. Prinsip aq satu je
AKU AKAN KAWAN DENGAN SIAPA NAK KAWAN DENGAN AKU JER.

Bila jamuan librarian (aq & dia librarian dulu oke) , konon pergi asing-asing. Dah masuk library tu, kemain nk duduk sebelah aq. Haha Dalam banyak-banyak hari aq menjalani rutin kehidupan aq selepas dah tak kawan dengan GENG tu, time party librarian  was a big smile ever I’ve made. Sumpah tak tipu. Now i can see which can called a real friend than the fake one. Lepas party tu, all the glow surrounding me become gloomy as i take my step out of the library. Then the fake cool me begin.

Haila kawan. Banyak kerenah. The person yang jadi BATU API antara aq dengan GENG tu pom dah mengaku bersalah, and apologise to me. Bagus la. Aq pom dah maafkan dye. AND the weird things is, antara aq dengan BATU API tu, still contact each other, seeing each other, dah macam bestfriend dah. Haha pelik tak? Rasa marah tu ade, tapi tu la. Tak terluah. haha Tak pe tak pe. Aq kan kawan dengan sape nk kawan dengan aq jer. Every person that make friend with me officially declare as my BESTFRIEND! Kalau diorang-diorang ni tak reti nk menghargai aq then stab back me, itu hak diorang. Sakit tu sakit, tapi biar la Allah tolong revenge bagi aq. J


Keep smile. Everythings happends must be a reason. Therefore, should learn from the mistakes to being a better person.

Sorry eh awok. curi-curi gambar anak awok. Mohon jgn putuskan tangan saye :') 
btw Dhani ni comel. bambamhehehe May Allah bless you and yours happy family.